dogs (lost and found)

I am thinking about my dog sleeping on my lap, and how I love animals. I am thinking of how I wrote the backbone for this post in my head a couple of days ago, but have only found the moments of (in between) this and that, to put it down. It feels watery and half-present.

I saw a dog get hit by a car about two weeks ago on my way to work on Bridge Avenue. I don't want to describe it. I turned off the radio when it happened, and drove the rest of way to work with my heart of compassion wrestling with my mind that told it I had to focus on all the things I had to do once I got to school.

For the next week, I had haunted images of the accident every night before bed. I felt truly in the cycle of suffering, what Buddhists call Samara, (which is life itself) and pretty helpless about preventing more incidents like the one I saw.

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Jump ahead to two weeks, and I was a bar listening to a live show. When Ian and I were leaving, we said goodbye to his friend/former sister-in-law Laura, and she told us that she had just spent the last hour finding the home for two lost dogs. The dogs had collars and tags and had obviously just fled. She and a friend took the dogs home. The owners were having a party and weren't even aware they were gone. The bar is on busy 2nd street, and if the dogs attempted to cross it, it's likely there would be fatalities/injuries. When Laura told me this, I felt she had saved two dogs lives, and this made up for my feelings of grief for the dog on Bridge Avenue. I was able to let go of the hurt I felt.

I am writing this with Nina the pug on my lap, and I feel fortunate to have had her for 2 years. She turned 5 years old yesterday!

Life is Samara, but also contains moments that affirm goodness, and that is enough for me.