Most of the people there I always see there.
There is a man I've seen there for the past 6 months. I know him because he was trading in his moped for a bigger one, when I was in the process of looking for one. He looks to be about 250lbs on a small to medium frame. He is about 60 years old, and wears big glasses. I have often seen him hanging out at the coffee shop. I have also noticed a bed roll attached to the back of his scooter. He lives on the street?
I was sitting with my mac, writing, and enjoying an American (room for cream) when I saw him come in, and ask a lady sitting near me if she was going to eat the last little piece of her bagel. She said yes, and rolled her eyes. The man made a hand movement like, it doesn't really matter, and then he said, "I'll find a snack somewhere else." Then he walked over to the bus cart and fished around for something, finding nothing. A wave of intense sadness rolled over me. After that wave was gone, a wave of anger hit me. I felt angry at the world. How could we let an old man go hungry? and in America? where was his family?
It wasn't until I got home several hours later that I realized I could have done something to help. I could have bought him a bagel. I have a job, and even though I am struggling to make it, I have savings, and a big safety net. I can afford to buy a bagel for an old man. So why didn't I?
I think I have trained myself not to see or respond to beggars to poor people. I have been inudated with poverty in South America, India and China. To get through (without an emotional breakdown), the only thing I know how to do is to ignore it. It bothers me so much, I have learned to push it away.
My Buddhist meditation group, that I recently started attending is teaching me more about my emotions, and my thoughts. I am trying to feel more compassion and more joy by correctly seeing things.
I want to buy the old man a bagel the next time I see him.
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