hellos and goodbyes

This is my last week with Mr. McDougal's 4th grade Bilingual class. The last 6 weeks have been a flurry of routines and procedures, research, getting to know students, late nights and laughter. All the students know that our last day is on Friday and they are already getting clingy and emotional. In such a short time they have become such a big part of our day. They are our day!

I feel a tendency to cling and be fearful about what is going to happen next. I am officially a substitute teacher, and have emailed a couple of schools about my availability. I am also currently working on my research project, which I plan to have finished by next week. I want to dive into it, get it done, and then move on to my thesis, and possibly finding a teaching job.

Another big part of my world is cracking open. I am buying my dad's car at the end of the week. Soon, I will have the mobility to drive north again. I feel a pull to be a Lama for Shabbat, to stay the weekend in Peñasco with Danielle, and to sing the 11 Hanuman Chalisas on Sunday at the Hanuman temple. I also plan to see more of Nani, and visit home, and go on as many hikes as I can before it gets too cold.

The moon is waning. It feels proper for the feelings I am having now. Everything is settling, or rising away from me. I think the best action for me to take is almost nothing. Be. Say my proper goodbyes to the students. Reflect. Write. Set intentions, but do not attach myself to them. Wait.