The winter has been all wind

The winter has been all wind with a pinto bean filled rattle.

I was overcome with a sense of "doing something" in November when I returned from my travels in Argentina. I did not take time to rest, recuperate and let my experiences abroad sink in. I wish I would have stayed on my parent's couch for a month longer.

There was a spirit that spit work and toil on my path through December.

I fell in love and began a relationship with a man 42 years older than me, (who was previously my professor) I applied to 4 MFA programs, I took and did poorly on the GRE exam, my beloved python Hadassah died a freezing death, I started two jobs, lost my voice and worked 45 hours a week through it all.

I buried the bone of a country. Argentina, I have not forsaken you. You are still too wet, resembling the present tense for me to fire, burn my pen writing about.

I tromped through the struggle of refilling water glasses, driving in rushhour traffic, losing friends to my startling relationship, paying rent and application fees, and most difficult--burying my snake (Jewish ceremony).

I was making love--to a man who was morgaged and sending his second born off to school when I was crowning in the birthing room.

I spent my time sledgehammering boundaries on a quiet street with fear racing through my veins. "Am I the only one of my kind?" I questioned. "No, there is one other like me, and he is sleeping next to me." He and I are the only ones bold enough, passionate enough, and crazy enough to say yes, yes, yes.